Thomas Aquinas on True Friendship: Why It’s Life’s Highest Good

Quote Analysis

In an age where digital connections often replace real human bonds, the words of medieval philosopher Thomas Aquinas strike with unexpected clarity:

“There is nothing on this Earth more to be prized than true friendship.”

But why would a 13th-century theologian place such high value on friendship—above wealth, power, or even knowledge? To understand this, we must explore Aquinas’ vision of virtue, the human soul, and the role of companionship in moral growth. This quote is not just poetic—it reflects a profound understanding of what it means to live a good, meaningful life. Let’s delve into the deeper message behind these enduring words.

Introduction to the Thought of Thomas Aquinas

To understand this quote, we must first know who Thomas Aquinas was and how he approached the world. Aquinas was not only one of the greatest Christian philosophers of the Middle Ages but also a systematic thinker who aimed to reconcile reason and faith. Living in the 13th century, he believed that truth could be discovered both through divine revelation and through human reasoning.

Aquinas drew heavily from Aristotle, especially in understanding human nature, ethics, and the concept of virtue. But he didn’t just repeat Aristotle’s ideas—he reworked them through a theological lens, giving them new depth. He saw humans not only as rational beings but also as spiritual ones, destined for a higher purpose.

Friendship, for Aquinas, was not just a pleasant part of life—it was an essential component of moral and spiritual development. In his view, true friendship reflects the divine: it is rooted in goodness, nourished by virtue, and directed toward the well-being of the other person. When he says, “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship,” he is not offering a sentimental remark. He is identifying friendship as one of the highest expressions of human flourishing.

Understanding this context helps us appreciate that Aquinas speaks from a worldview where relationships are not accidental but central to who we are meant to become.

The Meaning Behind the Quote: Why True Friendship Is So Highly Valued

This quote may seem simple at first glance, but it carries deep philosophical weight. Let’s break it down carefully, word by word.

“There is nothing on this earth…” – Aquinas is speaking in absolute terms. He is not saying friendship is one of the best things, but the best thing. It’s a superlative statement.
“…more to be prized…” – The word “prized” here suggests something beyond mere usefulness. It speaks to value, appreciation, and even reverence. He’s talking about what we should cherish, not just what we enjoy.
“…than true friendship.” – The key is in the word “true.” This isn’t about casual acquaintances or social convenience. Aquinas is referring to deep, committed, virtuous friendship.

In the philosophy of Aquinas, true friendship has a few defining qualities:

It is based on mutual goodwill: both people sincerely want the best for each other.
It is rooted in virtue: not pleasure or utility, but shared values and moral alignment.
It is reciprocal: both parties contribute and grow from the relationship.
It is enduring: it survives hardship, time, and distance.

Why does he hold it in such high regard? Because in true friendship, the human soul finds support in becoming better. Friends help each other become more virtuous, more self-aware, and more oriented toward truth and goodness. That’s why Aquinas does not separate friendship from ethics or theology—he sees it as one of the most concrete ways we live out virtue.

In fact, in another of his well-known teachings, Aquinas states: “Happiness is secured through virtue; it is a good attained by man’s own will.” This idea connects directly to the nature of true friendship—because friends help each other grow in virtue, and through virtue, achieve happiness.

So, this quote is not just about emotions or companionship. It’s about how human beings can help each other pursue the good life. And for Aquinas, there is no higher goal.

The Philosophical Background: Friendship as an Expression of Virtue

When Aquinas speaks of true friendship, he’s building on a long philosophical tradition, especially that of Aristotle, whom he greatly admired and integrated into his own thinking. But he doesn’t just copy Aristotle—he deepens the concept by placing it within a Christian moral framework.

For Aristotle, there were three kinds of friendship:

Friendships of utility (based on usefulness),
Friendships of pleasure (based on enjoyment),
Friendships of virtue (based on shared moral values and mutual growth).

Aquinas agrees with this classification but focuses almost entirely on the third kind—friendship grounded in virtue. In his view, only this kind of friendship can be called “true.” Why? Because it is not dependent on what the other person can offer in terms of benefit or entertainment. Instead, it is built on a shared commitment to the good.

In practical terms, friendship becomes a kind of moral training ground. Through honest conversation, mutual encouragement, and even gentle correction, true friends help each other become better people. That’s why Aquinas believes that friendship is not optional for a good life—it is essential. We grow in virtue not in isolation, but in relationship with others who challenge and support us.

Also, for Aquinas, this kind of friendship is not just about human happiness—it also reflects divine love. When two people commit to each other’s moral good, they mirror the love that God shows toward humanity. So friendship becomes a place where philosophy, ethics, and theology intersect.

Friendship as a Path to True Happiness

To understand the connection between friendship and happiness, we need to look at how Aquinas defines happiness in the first place. For him, happiness is not pleasure, success, or emotional highs. True happiness is about living in accordance with reason and virtue—it’s the fulfillment of our nature as rational, moral beings.

Now here’s the key point: no one can reach that kind of happiness alone. We are not isolated individuals; we are social creatures. That means the journey toward a good life must involve others—especially those who help us grow.

Aquinas believed that true friendship contributes to happiness in several ways:

It reminds us of what really matters. In a world full of distractions and superficial goals, friends bring us back to truth, to virtue, and to purpose.
It supports us in weakness. Friends walk with us during times of doubt, failure, or moral struggle.
It celebrates goodness. Friendship offers a space where we can enjoy virtue itself—not as duty, but as joy shared with another.
It strengthens the will. When someone believes in you, it becomes easier to choose what’s right, even when it’s hard.

Aquinas never viewed happiness as a solitary achievement. Instead, he taught that happiness is tied to how well we love—not in the romantic sense, but in the moral sense: willing the good of the other. And what is true friendship, if not exactly that?

That’s why, in Aquinas’ system of thought, friendship isn’t just emotionally satisfying—it’s ethically transformative. It changes who we are, not just how we feel.

The Spiritual Dimension of Friendship

When Aquinas talks about friendship, he doesn’t stop at the emotional or ethical level—he also brings in the spiritual dimension. This is important to understand, especially in the context of medieval Christian thought. For Aquinas, humans are not just rational beings, but also spiritual beings created in the image of God. That means our relationships aren’t just social—they have eternal significance.

In Aquinas’s theology, the highest kind of friendship is friendship with God, and he believes that this relationship sets the pattern for all other true friendships. Just as God loves us freely and unconditionally, so too should we love our friends—not for what they give us, but for who they are. This love is known as caritas, or charity—the highest form of love in Christian theology.

This view leads to several key insights:

True friendship mirrors divine love.
It is not driven by ego, but by self-giving.
It invites us to go beyond our natural instincts and act from grace.
It becomes a form of spiritual practice—a way of drawing closer to God by loving others well.

This is why Aquinas sees friendship as more than just a human good—it’s a glimpse into something divine. It helps us live not only morally, but also spiritually.

Ethical and Social Implications of the Quote

Let’s now look at what this quote means outside the classroom—in real life and in society. Aquinas lived in a time when loyalty, honor, and moral duty were taken seriously, but he also recognized how fragile human relationships could be. His emphasis on true friendship as something to be “prized” wasn’t meant just for individuals—it had social and ethical implications too.

Here’s how the quote speaks to broader society:

It reminds us that relationships should be based on virtue, not advantage. In a world where people often form connections out of interest or strategy, Aquinas tells us to seek something purer.
It calls us to resist individualism. Western culture often glorifies self-sufficiency, but Aquinas insists we are made for communion, not isolation.
It encourages ethical responsibility. A true friend doesn’t simply support us emotionally—they challenge us to live rightly.

This applies not only in personal life but also in work, politics, and education. When we treat others not as tools or rivals, but as moral equals capable of growth and goodness, we create a more just and human world.

So this quote isn’t just about having “best friends.” It’s about building a life and a society where virtue and truth guide how we relate to others.

A Lasting Value in a Changing World

To conclude, let’s return to Aquinas’s powerful statement: “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” This isn’t just a poetic idea—it’s a roadmap for living wisely and well.

In a world that is often fast-paced, transactional, and emotionally shallow, Aquinas’s words invite us to slow down and rethink what we truly value. He reminds us that:

Deep human connection is more important than wealth or power.
Virtuous friendship helps us become our best selves.
Spiritual and ethical growth happens in relationship, not in isolation.

And perhaps most importantly, Aquinas teaches that friendship is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for the good life.

So as you reflect on this quote, ask yourself: Do I cultivate friendships that help me grow in truth and virtue? Am I the kind of friend that Aquinas would call “true”?

Because in the end, as Aquinas shows us, a single true friend is worth more than anything money can buy.

“Why ‘There Is Nothing on This Earth More to Be Prized Than True Friendship’ Still Resonates – The Timeless Wisdom of Thomas Aquinas”